


Lover Worry

by heavyinmysheets



Category: Tegan and Sara - Fandom, quin love, quincest - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-17
Updated: 2013-05-17
Packaged: 2017-12-12 03:50:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/806880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavyinmysheets/pseuds/heavyinmysheets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tegan and Sara AU. What happens when friends Sara and Tegan  develop complex and intense feelings for each other, both of them being in committed relationships?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I don’t know when it started, All I know is that it existed. It consumed me-heart, soul, body and mind.

**Author's Note:**

> There are two of us behind the scenes of Heavyinmysheets, you can call us TQ and SQ!  
> Check us out on Tumblr! www.heavyinmysheets.tumblr.com

-SARA-

As my professor chirped away about some typeface bullshit, that I couldn’t care less about, my thoughts still drifted to her. My phone had buzzed only a few minutes ago, signaling that I had a new text. I wasn’t sure who it was from, but I knew who I wanted it to be-Tegan. That name sparked something inside me that I’ve yet to perfectly define. 

There was this strange ache in my chest. And it seemed to be linked directly to her. 

I just can’t figure it out. I miss her. But I can’t miss her…can I? I mean, we’ve never even met. How can I miss someone I’ve never laid eyes on in person. God. I’m too fucking insane for this. Adjusting in my seat, I tried to ignore the clock, hoping time might pass more quickly. I tried to pay attention, really, but when something takes you over in such a way, nothing else really matters as much. It’s hard to focus, like the feeling of having one too many drinks. 

After the hour and a half leached by, it was time to go. Finally. I grabbed my phone and with a sharp intake of breath, glanced at the screen. There it was. The name that sent goosebumps throughout my body. Sliding the bar over, I eagerly read the message. Hey beautiful, how’s class? Ah, she shouldn’t call me that…but fuck I love when she does. I quickly typed out a reply. Finally out, geeze. It took forever. She just kept going

on about the differences between Transitional and Modern. I just. I don’t care. Come cuddle? I hit send, grabbed my bag and headed off. 

Walking to the elevator, I put in my earbuds and pressed play. Little Bird entered my ears and it immediately reminded me of Tegan. Of course, every song had that affect these days. The words captured my feelings for her, yet didn’t completely encompass their intensity. I let the grin slide onto my face and mindlessly tapped my fingers to the rhythm. Reaching my floor, the doors opened and I walked out into the busy dining hall. As I weaved through the crowd, she was still on my mind. I tried to come up with reasons why she would be so important to me, but still, I failed. There was this magnetic draw to her that I just couldn’t explain. This girl, with a similar face, had such a pull on me that it seemed my every moment revolved around thoughts of her. I had known her for only a few months, yet she had quickly become an essential part of my life. Right now, I just wanted to pull her close, entangle myself in her and remove any distance that might try to interfere. 

Shaking my head, I pushed open the double doors. I tried to clear my head and remind myself that that wasn’t just an insane idea, it was also impossible. Tegan was four hours away and neither one of us drove. We were also both in relationships. And while we were convinced what we had was not romantic, convincing others was a different story. 

The summer sun hit my pale skin and I could immediately feel the pink rise into my cheeks. New York wasn’t known for its heat, but this summer would be killer. It was only April, yet the temperature was already in the high 80s. My pocket buzzed and my heart immediately lept in my chest. With sweaty hands, I quickly pulled out my phone. But it wasn’t Tegan’s name that I read, it was Emy’s. A smile spread over my face. Meet me for coffee? All I wanted to do was go home, take a shower and enjoy the AC but I would never turn down coffee. Especially if it was with my beautiful girlfriend. I’ll be right there, babe! I replied and trotted down the stone steps. I quickly headed across the street and down the block to a small coffee shop. It was tucked away in the corner space of what looked like a rundown factory. It didn’t look like much, but it had the best coffee in the city. 

As I pulled open the door, the cold air washed over my body and I gasped. I stepped inside and let the delicious scents of the place, overtake my senses. As my eyes began to adjust to the darkness, I scanned the tiny tables and booths, scattered throughout. Then I saw her. As beautiful as ever. Sitting in a corner booth, Emy was propped up on one elbow and glancing down at her phone. Her short hair hung in her face and her bottom lip was pinched between her teeth. I meandered around the other tables that blocked my path and scooted in the booth across from her. She jumped at my presence, clearly snapping out of her daze. Her face lit up and she looked at me with those gorgeous blue green eyes. “It took you long enough”, she said with a smirk. I slid my hand into hers and leaned across the table “I almost got hit by a car, trying to get to you. Do you even care?”, I spoke. “Not at all” she replied. A grin spread throughout her face and we both laughed in a comfortable unison. 

She slid an iced beverage towards me, along with an unopen straw. “Aww, babe! Thank you!” I said in a voice that was MUCH higher pitched than normal. “Of course! It’s fucking hot outside. I mean, isn’t this supposed to be spring?” she said as she leaned back in her own booth and grabbed her own drink. I let out a noise that could only be understood by some sort of bird and quickly unwrapped my straw. Punching it through the top of the drink, I immediately brought the straw to my lips and sucked in. The icy liquid entered my body, chasing away the heat. I sighed and slunk down into the booth, leaning against the wall on my right side. Emy was busy gulping down her sickly sweet beverage and enjoying the oasis from the heat, as I was. 

I heard the vibration of my phone against the booth and I could tell by her face, that Emy heard it too. “Tegan, I’m guessing?” she spoke. Her words somewhere between a question and a statement. Her eyes focused on her drink as her fingers traced the droplets clinging to her glass. I grabbed my phone and saw Tegan’s name displayed on the screen. “Of course” I replied, knowing that the answer wasn’t really necessary. I fought the need to read the message and sat my phone on the table. Lifting my eyes to Emy’s face, I grazed her hand with mine and intertwined our fingers. She grinned and looked at me. The worry was noticeable in her face and I gave her a reassuring glance as I squeezed her hands. “I love you, Emy. You’re the only one I love”. As the words flew out of my mouth, her posture reflected her belief. I loved her, that part was true. But in the depths of my soul, I knew the last part of my statement was a lie before I even spoke the words.


	2. Chapter 2

-Tegan-

“I more then like you. I just wanna like unzip my body and put you in there.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes as the quote from a movie I had recently watched ran through my mind. However, if I was being honest with myself, it was altogether too true. I huffed and flipped over on my back, gazing at the ceiling of my small apartment. I didn’t like being honest with myself. Being honest with myself means admitting I’m not quite sure of my feelings. Of myself. Or rather, not that I was unsure, but that I cant quite define it. These emotions I have for this almost complete stranger that I met on the internet. How crazy was that?  
I have always been this way though. Insanely intense about anything that caught my interest. “So are you admitting you’re interested?” a small voice whispered internally.  
“Dude shut the fuck up.” I said aloud as I threw the covers off me and jumped out of bed in one quick movement. I wasn’t interested per se. I just can’t deny that Sara was very, very interesting. Smiling as I thought her name I reached for my phone and quickly sent her a good morning text. As soon as I sent it I felt aimless. I checked my email while I waited for Sara’s reply. After I decided that waiting around for a simple text was a little desperate, I simply opened my hand, letting my phone drop to the ground and stepped into the bathroom. Turning the water on as hot as it would go I stripped and stepped into the spray, hoping that maybe I could wash some insanity out.  
Letting the insanely hot water beat down on me, I watched my skin turn bright red, slowly at first, then all at once. I let my mind drift and wander as it may, gently pulling it back to a sense of calm and stillness whenever it began to latch on to something too harshly. I ignored my phone pinging from the bedroom. Tempted as I was, showers were my alone time-to meditate, uninterrupted. I had, while exploring different religions and spiritualities, attended all sorts of meditations. From Buddhist to yoga, I loved it all. It was the only thing that centered me when I got like this. That settled my heart and mind and allowed me to sort it all out. Steam filled the bathroom as I released all the tension in my body and just allowed myself to be. With out any pressure, any ideas, any particular thoughts. After clearing my mind and centering my being, I allowed my mind to wander. Of course it drifted immediately to Sara. I smiled as I allowed thoughts of her to trickle in and around my head. A warm glow, hotter then even the scalding water, filled me. Sara. The girl with the similar and somehow familiar face. Sara. I had felt a connection to her immediately. Sara. So beautiful. Her eyes, her hair, that fucking smile that melted me completely. My fingertips began to tingle as I stretched my palm open wide at my sides. They felt empty. My entire hand began to outstretch as I reached. Sara.  
“Tegan? Babe? Are you here?” I jumped and grabbed the shower rod and slapped my hand on the side of the shower, trying to steady myself. Fuck. Fuck. Without pausing to think I twisted the faucet off, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist. Running my hands through my hair to shake out the water, I opened the bathroom door and ran straight into my girlfriend.  
“Lindsey, hey. What are you doing back so early?” I sputtered out as I tried to catch my breath.  
“My second shoot of the day way canceled.” Lindsey said slowly “God, Tegan, what’s wrong? Why are you so out of breath?”She asked, reaching up to my face.  
“You. Scared me, that’s all. Wasn’t expecting anyone to be home. Was meditating.” I explained as I captured Lindsey’s hand with my own and kissed it quickly. I dropped Lindsey’s hand as I remembered the yearning, and reaching for Sara’s skin.  
“Anyway, why did they cancel on you?” I asked as I turned to walk into the bedroom. Lindsey followed, explaining some intricate love…..pentagon thing that was going on within the band she was supposed to be having a photo shoot with that afternoon. I nodded and interjected “yeah” and “that’s fucked up” every now and again as I got dressed. Slipping in to a sports bra and tank I watched Lindsey’s face as she went along to describe how her first (and luckily uncanceled) shoot of the day went. Her entire face lit up and she became more animated as she spoke of her passion, describing the location and lighting and shots she had captured. I slid on my boxers then walked over to Lindsey, pushing her over onto the bed and crawling over her.   
“I love you.” I whispered as I kissed my girlfriend silent. A half moan half sigh escaped Lindsey’s mouth as I pressed my lips hard against hers. I pulled back and looked her in the eyes, reveling in her stunning smile.  
“You make me happy.” I told her. Yeah. Lindsey was wonderful. We were perfect matches for each other. Lindsey laughed and pulled my mouth back to hers.  
“I missed you too babe.” She said softly between kisses. All of a sudden I felt a vibration on my thigh, making me jump. Lindsey laughed at me as she pulled her phone out of her pocket.  
“Just my phone babe. Actually, hold on, I have to take this call.” I rolled my eyes at my girlfriend’s mocking tone and rolled off of her. Suddenly remembering that my phone went off earlier, I reached down and picked it up off the floor.

Sara  
Text message   
My stomach did funny things as I unlocked my phone and read her text message. But it flipped completely upside down when I read the ending. 

Come cuddle?

I bit my lip as I replied.

Sounds boring. I can guarantee cuddling with me would be much more interesting. As soon as I finish building my inter-dimensional time traveling machine I’ll be there.

I hit send right as Lindsey came back into the room.  
“Actually baby, I have to go. Turns out the band reconciled and we’ve rescheduled. I’ll be back late. Dinner?” Lindsey explained as she grabbed her gear. I sighed and stood up, wrapping my arm around Lindsey and kissing her. After making plans for dinner Lindsey left. I felt a buzz in my pocket and felt a surge of disappointment when Sara’s name didn’t show up. Yeah. Lindsey was the one for me alright, but I couldn’t define this intense connection I felt with Sara, nor could I explain the desire to have the her wrapped in my arms.  
Maybe if I could unzip my chest and put Sara in there I wouldn’t feel this ache.


End file.
